Do men cheat for the thrill? Or the sex?

When men have affairs, they tend to be motivated by sex — new sex, more sex, different sex.

Women cheat for many reasons: companionship, romance, more security, and, of course, sex. But are men’s motivations really that simple? No. Even for men, cheating is far more complex.

Studies show most men who cheat want to experiment sexually and experience the rush associated with “new sex.” This is their way of prolonging indefinitely the early and intoxicating phase of infatuation in a relationship. But men also have affairs to either avoid intimacy, recover their lost youth, or escape an unhappy marriage.

Men who fear intimacy will have affairs to maintain power in their relationships. If a man doesn't commit to his lover, he controls his level of vulnerability. Some men cheat in fact to avoid any real intimacy. Intimacy scares them, so they distance themselves from their wives by cheating on them and they don’t get emotionally involved with their lovers. This way they never have to trust their partners or rely on them. This kind of man may also fear conflict.

Then there are men who will strike up an affair when they start to feel the fear and loss that comes with aging. They realize they are no longer young and invulnerable, so they have an affair to deny that they are getting old. Finding someone who is “young and new,” makes them feel more youthful.

Biologists believe men cheat by the Darwinian instinct to spread their genetic seed to more mates (whereas women would one mate to get protection and support). However, since more women are cheating, this suggests that they felt societal pressure in the past to suppress their sexual desires. There also may be another reason men are more likely to stray: environment. Psychologically speaking, men who cheat are often the child of an adulterer. They are repeating behavior that they know and looking to correct that feeling that no one ever loved only them.

Not all affairs are created equal. There is the one-night stand, the long-term love affair, and the tryst that serves as a way to end a marriage. Not all affairs happen because the marriage is in obvious trouble or bad. However, a conflict-ridden marriage will certainly be at greater risk. Many women mistakenly believe the mistress must be more attractive than she. Actually, this is not often the case. It seems to be the wish for newness and variety, as well as the particular man’s psychological needs and vulnerabilities that is more the motivator. While a marriage might not be bad, it can still lack honesty and active communication.

Adultery need not be the end of a marriage, though it certainly is one heck of a wake up call. If you are contemplating an affair, then there is no question you will be SORRY! Affairs hurt everyone, including you. You cannot keep both women, so you will be distressed at some point. Don’t leave yourself in susceptible situations, such as when alcohol is involved.
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and i quote again: Don’t leave yourself in susceptible situations, such as when alcohol is involved.